December 7: the real 3G

I have this theory that there is a kind of class system among letters of the alphabet. Letters have status and privilege because of their place in the sequence, as a result of the letters around them, and by virtue of the words they begin.

There’s the royalty of ABC, of which A is arrogant, B is better, and C is the caboose.

We have Alphas and type-As because, as the leaders who have always been first, they have everything to lose—their biggest thrill is being first in line and their biggest fear is not being. And they need everyone to know about it. The A is akimbo at the head of the 26, and archway, controlling admission and allowing access arbitrarily.

But B is the better letter. It has all the perks of A with none of the responsibility. The kids with B names still get to go before almost everyone else and sit in the front row, but they don’t have to worry about being called on right away.

Where A is a lean as an antelope, B is just fine with its belly. Harry is the B to William’s A, and we all know which got the better deal.

C is just happy to be in the club. D,E, & F had to form their own because no one wants them.

There’s the gangly HIJK-ers, the pushy LMNO snobs who think they own the place, and the poor, landed gentry of PRST—kind of like ABC but without the shiny.

UVWXYZ used to be a nice neighborhood, but now it’s boarded up and fading. No one really goes there anymore. Z is a destination, but it’s the nicest house on the worst street and a bit risky to go there, so I don’t.

Today’s blog is sponsored by the letter G

Somewhere between the rejects and the nerds sits the letter G. G lends itself to a lot of good. G is genitive. G is genesis.

Technically speaking, 3G stands for generation—the third iteration of the invisible communication network that has become more fundamental to our survival than Maslow could have ever imagined. If you were stranded on a desert island would you first think of finding food and water or getting a network signal?

Back in April, I made a list of all the G words that I could write or meditate on to start my day. I noticed that G words lent themselves to traits and behaviors that set the right vibe for how I want my time to feel and what I want to do with it:

grow, glow, good, grasp, gratitude, golden, goals, guidance, great, greeting, glean, give, glisten, gather, groom, glee, glory, gift, gorgeous, generous, generate, genuine, glad, god, ground, grace.

As a morning journal, I started asking myself, what are today’s 3Gs?

What are my goals?

How am I grateful?

What do I need from God?

Other days, I may write

How can I grow?

What is today’s gift?

Please give me grace.

Of course, there are some not so glorious words that start with G—gusset, anyone? And A gives us Advent, amen, and antidisestablishmentarianism, without which we may not have supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

The major carriers are pulling the plug on 3G in 2022. If you have an iphone5, this is bad news as you will no longer be able to call for rescuers from the desert island.

For those using the real 3G to ask for help, your device will always be supported.