Every summer I have this idea that all I need for a fabulous season is the perfect swimsuit. 

If I just find the right combination of bikini and sarong—supportive and slightly boosting on top, camouflaging on bottom—then everything else about the summer will magically fall into place.

If I have the perfect swimsuit, I will get invited to regular pool parties and my friends and my kids and my friends’ kids will all have a wonderful time lounging and splashing and laughing in the backyard. The other moms and I will spend the day ever so slightly tipsy from drinking well-iced white wine sangria while the kids, sunburnt and awkward, forget all about their electronics in favor of swimming, bike riding, and eating ice cream.

The perfect swimsuit/sarong combo tells the world that I am young enough, slim enough, and wealthy enough to spend my summer just summering with other women who are as young, slim, and (almost as) wealthy as I am.

Of course, I have never had this summer, because, obviously, I have never found just the right swimsuit.

Or perhaps, I have never had this summer because I don’t really want this summer. I just think I should want it because I think this is the summer I am supposed to have.

Take what resonates, leave the rest

This phrase has always annoyed me. It goes in the bucket with “you do you, boo” and “Beyonce has the same 24 hours in her day as you.” No. No, she doesn’t.

Take what resonates/you do you tries to make self-aggrandizement sound like empathy. I often hear this phrase after a video or blog or social media post in which the creator shares her brilliant insight about what she does (humble brag-style), and if the audience doesn’t like it as much as she does, well then, you do you. 

But a couple of days ago, I heard this phrase in a whole new…not light, but frequency? And it got me thinking about the aforementioned perfect swimsuite as well as other ideas I am trying to take that do not resonate.

“Before you go and scribble all the moon phases in your calendar, maybe first try out if you feel lunar energies.” The Witches’ Cookery

I love the idea of synching my routines with lunar energies, and I have dutifully written all the phases of the moon for each month of the year in my calendars (and I have a few), but I can never seem to remember what phase means or what I should do with it. It seems everyone pays attention to the moon—from seven-figure business consultants to Madam Woo-Woo on the corner—so why do I struggle to figure out what to do with it? What am I doing wrong?

“A few more things popped through for me as I read everything you wrote so I’ll just drop them here in case they resonate with you too.” Suzy Cater

This is my second round of taking advantage of an almost-free copy writing workshop from a woman who charges tens of thousands of dollars for her services. She read some of my copy and gave me a few suggestions that I could take or leave if they resonated with me. I took them. Not because she suggested them, but because they made sense with what I wanted my website to say.

I just took what I wanted and, without guilt, left the rest.

“Something that’s helped me in my mornings is having a morning menu because every day is different, your energy is different, and what you want to do is different. Sometimes I might journal, other times I might just take some morning notes.” muchelleb

Muchelleb, who has half-a-million followers on YouTube and shares tips on “creating an intentional life, simplifying and getting things done” also struggles with her morning routine. What?? I know that very successful person has a rigid and trackable morning routine. But she doesn’t. I have been beating myself up about my inconsistent approach to just about every routine. I can’t even track any meal past breakfast, and I generally don’t eat breakfast. Why? Because tracking (and breakfast) doesn’t resonate with me.

All three of these women explore and experiment with their own and with other people’s ideas and use what works for them. They pick and choose to suit (HA!) their ends based on what makes sense to them—not what makes sense to others. And they encourage their audiences to do the same.

So maybe rather than looking for the “right” swimsuit, I need to look for the right symbol. The one that resonates with the summer I want to have and not the summer than someone else tells me I should.

The go bag

My teenage daughter, who tends to catastrophize, has an emergency go bag in her closet. Every so often, she gets a bee in her bonnet to change out its contents and ensure it is well stocked with supplies to survive the coming zombie apocalypse. I am not really sure what is in it—likely some old candy bars and maybe a blanket and hopefully a golf club—but she keeps it at the ready.

When I was a teen, I was less concerned about the zombie apocalypse than I was with accidently walking through a time vortex. I tried to keep a bag with me that had everything I would need to survive if I ever got sucked back in time to medieval England or perhaps Revolutionary America. I don’t recall what I kept in it, but I remember hair conditioner and lip balm being toward the top of the list. 

This summer symbol that resonates with me is not a swimsuit but a go bag—a tote that has everything I need so when my magical summer comes for me, I will be ready to go.

I am not yet sure what is in it, but whatever time vortex or zombie apocalypse or pool party comes my way, I will be ready.